Muddling. That is the way I usually feel that I am getting through the day. Everything is a jumble, very chaotic, disordered, lots of confusion, tangles, and generally messy (sounds like my hair too). My husband and our older son, the Chief, are lovers of control and order. They like to have a plan, and they like to work the plan. Schedules, maps, these things make them happy. Living with their muddled wife/mother makes them a bit cranky, and they are forever trying to get me in touch with a system for un-muddling their days. One area we have been working on is practicing for our music lessons.
The Chief has been taking violin for the last 2 1/2 years. The Mad Scientist takes piano lessons, and this is only his 5th month to do so. The Mad-Scientist begged to take piano lessons. He was two and a half, nearly three years old when big bro, barely six, started taking the violin and he was fascinated. At first he thought he wanted to take violin too, but at four years old he was convinced that it was the piano for him, and asked every day when he was going to get to go to his piano lessons, what his teacher would look like, and how was he supposed to get his piano to and from the lessons. He asked that, or a version of that every day for a little more than a year. We started last fall, and he couldn’t be happier. He typically stops whatever he is doing when I call and will practice for about twenty minutes at a time. He likes to play a tune and have us guess what it is, and he loves to play for anyone who visits. Workbook pages are no problem for him, and he will ask me to play the CD that accompanies his Suzuki songs over and over. I cannot say that his practices are all joy, and he has moments when he refuses to cooperate, but over-all, he genuinely wants to play the piano.
By contrast, the Chief has been known to sabotage his violin to get out of practice. There is always crying and screaming, frequently pouting and stomping when I call him for a thirty-minute session. The moment the violin is mentioned, he stops swinging from the ceiling fan, becomes simultaneously deathly ill, and exhausted, realizes he has not eaten in the last ten minutes and must have “something hot” immediately. While I try to negotiate him into putting off his swoon and feasting until we can do this practice, the phone will ring, or the Mad Scientist will start a construction project in the other room. Once we finally have the instrument out of it’s case, tuned and in the proper position, the Dane will come to “help.” The Dane will “sing” with some of the music, he will “lean” on the chief while he tries to play, bring him toys, bark just to hear his own voice, and terrorize the mad scientist into screaming fits while we try to review our scales, and work on new pieces. While I am trying to corral the Dane, my violinist is screeching, flailing, and complaining about all of the interruptions and his ailments. Add to this my grandmother’s love for listening to the music, which consists of her sitting in a chair across the room, gazing at her great-grandson with love, which feels to him like she is “staring” at him, and to me like she is monitoring my terrible attempt at parenting. Doesn’t this sound like fun?
Believe it or not, we usually do get some practice done. It isn’t pretty, and I typically lie awake at night and worry that my desire to teach my sons delayed gratification, working toward a goal, and the joys of playing music is actually scarring the older one. I hate all the drama and stress, and am always glad for Christmas vacation, and a break in the summer. Why continue, you ask. Well, you probably won’t believe me when I tell you that the Chief loves to perform. He will ask to play for any and all visitors who come to our house. The cable guy, piano tuner, friends, neighbors, and especially family, all get lengthy performances. He loves the praise and their surprise at his skill level. He loves the attention and the satisfaction of playing in concerts and at the recitals. Quiet and reserved, occasionally high-strung, he never has any nerves when he plays, and takes his violin places that he thinks people would enjoy hearing it. Go figure. - Rebecca
In the next part of this series, Rebecca will talk about the different things that she has done to make practice time a little less of a chore…